No Words Yet...

Now at peace: Gram, Mary Poulson 5.11.2010

(Thanksgiving 2008)

You will be missed...

On Tuesday morning I got a very shocking text message from my next door neighbor. I found out that our neighbor from across the street, Hal, passed away last Thursday. He was one of the first people to welcome us to the street. Whenever I was outside I would look to see if I would see Hal's friendly smiling face. When he saw us outside with our dogs, he would bring them treats. You almost always saw Hal and Heidi together and you could tell they adored each other. Hal would tell us "I found the only woman in Utah who didn't want kids!" He has definitely left us all on this street missing his presence. Below is one of the best obituaries I have ever read. Like Hal, it leaves you smiling:

October 25, 1951 ~ February 25, 2010

Thoughts from a spouse who knows how much she was loved: Hal claimed he was a troll when I met him 20 years ago. Now some of us are lucky to have at least one amazing moment in life when we meet an individual, and know without a doubt, in our head and our heart, from the start, that this person was tailor-made for us – I was that ‘some’ one. Hal had a wonderful habit of telling me from another room in the house that he loved me and that I was the most beautiful woman in the world. He would open every door for me and reach over in the night to hold my hand. Our first date was pie and coffee at Marie Callender’s and as he smiled at me across the table, I will never forget the electric sparkle in his eyes. Our first kiss he attempted after pulling into his driveway and as he moved his head towards me in the dark, the motion detector yard light beamed directly in on us. He had proudly installed it and I had to laugh at the irony. John Steinbeck’s line came to mind, “The best-laid plans of mice and men oft go awry. If Hal thought someone needed help, he would expend his resources most often with the objective to make sure whomever he was helping would come out ahead. His worth shined on a daily basis in businesses and homes that he wired across the valley. Hal was smart, but many people didn’t know why he was smart. It was because he never let a problem go until he found the answer. He died of a heart attack in the middle of solving a computer problem for a long-time dear friend, Tom Brooks. Again, John Steinbeck’s line came to my mind. Hal didn’t like to dress up, so it was a good thing he had me when, on short notice, he was asked to photograph a dinner at the Federal Reserve Bank. It took some convincing that he couldn’t wear what he usually wore to photograph the Deseret News Marathon on Pioneer Day. I was able to persuade a downtown tailor, with only 4 hours to go until the dinner that his new slacks needing hemming. There are many good people in this world, and that day a seamstress proved she was one of them. During the Vietnam War, Hal served as a Navy Seal. After 2 tours of duty in-country and 4 helicopter crashes, it is a wonder he survived. I always told him the rest of his life should just be “icing on the cake” having gotten through that horrible experience. Hal’s mother, Shirley, passed away with the terrible disease Alzheimer’s, which takes too many of our loved ones. Hal had a special connection to his dad (La Rue) and they were lucky to work together on a carpentry project only a few months back. Hal had a cantankerous affection for his younger sisters, Cindy Wood (Ward Perschon), Kathey (Paul) Neff, and Leisa (Gary) Groscost. Families are of the strongest fiber and live life with the most gusto when you see the ties to each other are tight, but are always being tested. They feel it to the bone to be there for each other in a time of need. Hal’s uncle Jim Brown was a good example of this, as he enjoyed the role of a surrogate older brother when Hal was young. As an adult, Hal was very close to 2 of his cousins, Jim Brown Jr. and Mark Silver. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought many times they were triplets and shared the computer secrets of the Rosicrucians. A celebration of life, or shindig is being held for Hal and we want the people who loved him or have a particular score to settle to come. His sister Cindy has been so kind to offer her “Woods” Hall at 6775 South 900 East from 3 to 5 pm Thursday, March 4, 2010. We could not do this without the incredible generosity of Hal’s dearest friends, John Aitken family’s Soup Kitchen here in the Salt Lake Valley. We would like to thank Larkin Mortuary for showing us again and again through the years, how wonderful their service is in our deepest periods of grief. – Heidi Hadley

I Love...

Warning: this is a very long post and it took me 10x longer to write this than I intended, so get comfortable :)
I'm not a fan of February or Valentine's Day. February is still the funk of winter and I think Valentine's Day is a fake holiday created by greeting card, flower and chocolate companies to get lots of money and create incredible tension between couples. Anyway, my friend Meghan has blogged about someone or something she loves each day this month. I thought this was a good idea. Way to spin a good feeling into the month of February. Since I saw the idea well into February I decided to list 28 things on the 28th day. So here goes:

1. I love this guy:

I love that he is so smart. I love that he pursued his 2nd masters degree full time while working full time. I love that he loves animals, especially our dogs. I love his kind and loving heart. I love that he always wants to help people and to be part of something bigger than himself. I love how he is my sister's kids favorite uncle. He was going to be by default, but he actually works at it. I love that, for some reason, he fell in love with me.

2. I love: Silly Sally

I love that she is a houdini which gives us good stories to tell. I love that she eats her food while lying in her bed like a queen. I love that when she wags her tail, her whole back half moves. I love that she isn't snuggly unless one of us is sick then she is right there. I love her cleopatra eyeliner.

3. I love: Scotty McGee

I love that he is our snuggle buddy. I love that he lets me fall asleep hugging him like a teddy bear every night. I love that he is always so excited when I come home. I love that he always looks embarassed when he farts. I love that he gets excited for me to do stupid things like put him in one of Chris' t-shirts. I love that he was transferred to Salt Lake from Kanab instead of being euthanised.

4. I love: these guys

These guys (I have a pic that includes Tom & the youngest, but I absolutely HATE myself in it). Anna: I love my sister & I are close & I talk way too much to her on the phone late at night. Richard: I love how smart he is and always curious for knowledge. Mariah: I love that she is so girly and loves to hang out with us. Jeffrey: I love that he always wants to help me, Anna and Mom with our laundry. Stephen: I love how happy he is and is so even-keeled

5. I Love: my mom

my mom, she's always there for me and we have a good time and laugh together. I love that she still spoils me and takes me out to lunch because I don't have kids for her to spoil. I love how she doesn't bother me about having kids for her to spoil :) I love that she loves my dogs and always seems happy to see them. I also love that I look just like her and she looks far younger than she is!

6. I Love: my dad

my dad. he is the kindest, patient, and most caring person I know. I love that I have always felt like a daddy's girl and I am sure my sister feels the same way. I love that he always call me to tell me about things he comes across that remind him of me. Especially when it entails reading comic strips to me over the phone.

7. I Love: my in-laws

Rare to say for a lot of people, it seems. But you can always guarantee that when you hang around Chris' family, you will have a good time and share a lot of laughter.

8. I Love: my cousin Jenn

We are only a few months apart in age and it feels like we've been close forever. I love when we see each other and go shopping or just talk late on the phone. I also love when people think we are sisters, although we don't look as alike now as we did when we were younger. I alway hope one day that we'll live closer to each other. I also love her cat Milton, which is why I'm posting a pic w/her eyes closed. How do you not love a cat that can open a high cupboard to get to his food and treats?

9. I Love:

My Great Aunt Doris. My grandparents died when I was very young. She and my great uncle did their best to step in. In April, I had a chance to go to Alaska with Aunt Doris and my mom. Wouldn't trade the experience for the world.

10. I Love:

Mags. My best friend that moved to Germany nearly 8 years ago. She is so kind and thoughtful. She's a much better friend than me, always sending notes and gifts. I also love her husband Danny, which was a HUGE relief. She is due in 6 weeks and I can barely stand it. She is such a cute pregnant lady and I can't wait to visit their family next year.

11. I Love:

Noelle. My best friend moving to London in August. Apparently I like to send my closest friends off to Europe :) . I love how she gives me pep talks when I am down, how she inspires me to be a better person and how she included us in her family I love her parents too, I'm going to have to randomly go over there for dinner even when she is gone!

12. I Love:

Ingrid Michaelson. great music, check it out. Noelle introduced it to Chris, who introduced it to me and I have commandeered his CDs. If you aren't in a good mood after listening to her music - there is something wrong with you...

13. I Love:

R.E.M. This shows my age. I hear a song and it reminds me of happy, innocent times. And I love the music. I got the Best Of CD the other day and love it. It calms me. "Man on the Moon", "Losing My Religion", "Nightswimming"... despite our friend Paco's hate of Michael Stipe's voice, I'm relaxing already.

14. I Love:

Nelly. Cornell Haynes. Yes, the rapper. (I know, my dad is cringing right now.) I love his type of rap - I call it "Party Rap". I have all kinds of trivia knowledge about him. I love that he is a great performer - best concert I have ever been too. I love that he was offered to play minor league baseball but turned it down to pursue music. I love that he wrote a song about his mom and when he became famous, he bought her a house and set her up for life. I love that he claims his hometown of St. Louis - still lives there and has a charity that directly affects the St. Louis inner city kids.

15. I Love: Bakeries

I liked this pic because it reminds me of the wonderful bakeries in france, but if I am stressed, Smith's will do. Cake, breads, rolls, crackers, donuts, pie, struessel. I love it all. Notice cookies aren't on the list. I'm not a huge cookie fan. Isn't that weird?

16. I Love: Love Actually

I'll be honest, I'm a sucker for a good romantic comedy. I'm going to name my 2 favorites here. Love Actually is my all time favorite movie. It is fantastic and has an amazing cast - Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Keira Knightly, it goes on and on. I love that it shows all different kinds of love. It is rated R, so beware of the frontal nudity and F word a few times.

17. I Love: The Holiday

This movie is amazing. You can relate so well to the characters and, in my opinion, you will never see a better performance out of Jack Black. You will also fall in love with Eli Walter. Cutest old man EVER.

18. I Love: Janet Evanovich

She is hands down my favorite author. If you want mystery, comedy, suspense and romantic tension all in one, her Stephanie Plum series is the answer. The only mystery author that has me laughing out loud with every book. Also love that this series is written completely in first person. It's a nice change and how can I not like anyone who dreams of donuts. (see #15)

19. I Love: Robert Fulghum

He is probably my 2nd favoite author. He is most known for his book "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarden". Little uplifting stories and incites, I love reading a story before going to bed at night in one of his books.

20. I Love: Books

After the last two posts, I do realize this is a little repetative. But there are many more books than just these two authors have written that I love. I love how books can feed the imagination and take you anywhere. I love how they have the ability to remind you how to love and uplift you and move you to become a better person.

21. I Love: Sitcoms

That's right. I know this makes me sounds old, but for the most part I don't like Reality TV. I like being able to sit down and laugh. Shows that are not just drama all the time. Mood lifters. My favorites would be Frasier, Seinfeld and Scrubs.

22. I Love: making cards

It is my stress relief. I love being creative and just sitting at my craft table and working.

23. I Love: Animals

Almost all of them. I could live without most bugs and snakes, but I love what animals can teach us. Every once in a while you will have the horrible story like the Killer Whale that killed the SeaWorld trainer last week, but 9 times out of 10, their stories are uplifting and remind us how to treat each other. Like the dog that follows the little who gets lost in the woods and the dog keeps him warm until the boy is found. Or the dog that nurses the baby lions. Or the penguin that mates for life.

24. I Love: The Biggest Loser

This is the one of two reality shows that I love. Once again, like sitcoms. You always have a good feeling while watching and it is all about watching people change their life for the better.

25. I Love:Top Ramen

Well now that we have just talked about getting healthy, I love Top Ramen which is totally not healthy. I could eat for every meal of the day. I especially love it when I am sick. So easy to make and it is comfort food.

26. I Love: Clean House

This is reality show number two. I am always amazed at the clutter people have and keep around the house. The families amaze me. Plus, after I watch the show it always make me want to get ride of some of my stuff which can never be a bad thing!

27. I Love: Modern Medicine

I wouldn't be alive today without it. Diabetes would have killed me long ago. But then it also makes it so I can function throughout the day with my arthritis. When they first diagnosed me with Psoriatic Arthritis, they had to switch me from the huge pain pills I was on to drugs that would treat it. For two weeks, Chris had to button my pants, tie my shoes and I would have to scoot up stairs. I will never take advantage of being able to do that.


28. I Love: The Olympics

I was lucky enough to have the chance to work as a housing supervisor in the Olympic Village during the Salt Lake 2002 Olympics. It honestly changed my perspective on life. I had a chance to meet many athletes that were with the smaller delegations that all stayed at the Guest House. Just google Philip Boit. He is amazing and I loved talking to him. Learning his story and having him always tell me family is the most important thing in this life. It was wonderful. I love to hear all the inspiring stories. It is amazing what a body can overcome when someone puts their mind to it.

Slumber Party

For Christmas, Chris and I gave my sister's kids all pajama's with the promise of a pajama slumber party. We had the party this past weekend. We had a lot of fun, keeping up the favorite aunt and uncle status, we watched movies with no bedtime, had pizza for dinner and loaded them full of sugar. Mariah and I picked out the design for her birthday party invitations. While the 3 watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the oldest played video games with Chris, I started making the invitations. I was listening to Lady Gaga and my youngest nephew came in and started dancing. Pretty soon Chris and I and the youngest two were dancing in the kitchen The looks the older two gave us like we had gone crazy and they were way too cool was hilarious. Here is the video I took of the youngest dancing:

Things That Hit Home Part 2

Ok, so I've gotten the traumatic part out and I feel so much better today and slept great last night. So, lets all look at the lighter side - I left out my favorite part of the whole story. When my mom became conscious in the emergency room - the very first thing she said the nurse was "I'm not cooking dinner tonight." She also said it again to me and when my dad got there she said "You are on your own for dinner tonight, I'm not cooking." Once a mom, always a mom :)

Things That Hit Home

Usually I don't like to talk about anything negative/sad/trying here. Everyone has their trials and tribulations. Since I am cynical, when I read negative things I either leave more depressed or want to tell people to quit whining. I like to focus on happy things and I certainly want my blog book to bring back happy memories. But every once in a while something humbling happens to you or someone you love and you are, in the end grateful and better because of it. Back in May, Chris and I ran a 5k because I was so touched by the Christensen's trials and what inspiration I later received from their family blog.

Then there are those situations that happen to you and not someone else. And, I guess this time, I just need to get it out.

On Tuesday, I had a great lunch with my mom. We walked around the Gateway Mall and talked. Then I showed her this little market downtown that I love. Walking into Jade Market and getting a sandwich at Rosie's Deli is just like a breath of fresh air for me. (Seriously check it out, 353 West 200 South) we got sandwiches (see this is a plus - when you don't have children to spoil, your mommy still spoils you!) and then we parted ways. My mom walked to her office at the LDS Church Office Building and me back to mine at the hotel.

Fast forward 4 hours. I was on the phone with a lady giving her a better rate than I should have because I am a pushover, when our executive housekeeper runs back and tells me a woman fell in the lobby. Of course we are the only two managers there at the time. I motion I'm on the phone and start hurrying to finish the conversation. A minute later, the desk clerk is running into my office telling me it is MY MOM on the floor. At that point I pretty much hang up on the lady and run out. My mom had walked back down to get her car. When she got into the hotel lobby she realized her blood sugar had gone really low. So, being the ridiculously honest woman that she is, she went and paid the desk clerk for some juice in the suite shop and then walked around to go get it. She never made it to the fridge. She went into insulin shock and fell. On her way down, she hit the back of her head on the corner of a baseboard splitting her head open and then going into seizures. Gotta say, there is nothing like running into the lobby and finding your mom unconscious in a pool of blood. By that time, one of our maintenance staff was on the phone with 911, another co-worker had gotten towels and a wonderful hotel guest came up to help telling me he was red cross certified. I ran back to my desk and grabbed my glucagon kit and gave it to her (miracle stuff that can bring someone out of insulin shock FAST). After a couple minutes the paramedics arrived and my mom was already coming in and out of consciousness. After answering a lot of questions, I then focused on calling Chris, my dad and sister. While everything seemed to take forever, it was probably 4:40pm when I was running to my mom and they had her loaded into the ambulance by 5:10 and on her way to LDS hospital. (which BTW, she had a 3" gash that is now sealed up nicely with staples) The paramedics kept telling me I did everything exactly right, employees at work were so glad I knew what was going on, nurses at the hospital said I handled everything great, my mom kept saying she was so glad I was there - once she was somewhat with it... And yet, all I could think about was - how could that be true, I just went through the experience of my mom on the floor at my work with blood, in fact, driving to the hospital, all I could see was that I still had blood all over my hands. But now, a couple days later, I am so thankful I was there. I've been pretty numb and disassociated with the Holiday season this year - and well, with the last, oh 9 months probably, but one week after Thanksgiving, I am very emotional and very thankful. Here is my list of what I am thankful for this week:
1. that it happened at my work and a) not on the street or b) while she was driving
2. that I knew what was happening and was able to take control and begin remedying the situation
3. for Fredi, the old employee who was simply there setting up Christmas decorations, but brought towels and stayed right by me until the firemen came
4. For the hotel guest who was red cross certified who happened to just be coming down to the lobby for a beer
5. For Braulio, our maintenance guy who spoke to dispatch the whole time
6. For Antonio, our other maintenance guy who thought to bring me water after the paramedics were there and I couldn't help anymore and for also cleaning up all the blood!
7. For Jackie, our guest service agent who recognized it was my mom
8. For the firemen and paramedics who were so nice, even though I am sure I was just annoyingly giving them information they didn't need
9. For Teresa, our executive housekeeper who pulled me away from trying to clean up the blood and told me it was ok, I could just go to the hospital
10. For the guest that asked how my mom was the next morning because she saw everything in the lobby and prayed for me and my mom the whole time
11. That I was there to handle it and not strangers
12. To my mom, because things like this bring you back down to earth, make you hug your loved ones, and for a few days at least - take the cynicism out of me. I am so grateful for the example she has always set for me. When I was 7, we moved into my grandparents house, so that she could take care of her dying parents. Because of that, I have always jumped at the chance to take care of my parents and have never struggled with the concept of caring for your parents like some do. I also honestly hope my body will be as strong as hers. Almost 45 years of being diabetic with no complications. She has only gone into insulin shock maybe 6 times in that many years and this is the first time she has ever been injured.
13. And to the rest of my family and friends because it is times like these that make you realize how important they all are to you and how much you love them.

I'll stop being sappy now and maybe go finally finish putting up my christmas decor while watching White Christmas :)

Happy Birthday Hubby!

So, I thought I might find a cute little Q&A like last year to fill about my husband on his birthday, but no such luck. So, I have to come up with this on my own - hopefully without crying. Chris turned 31 October 8th. Crazy how time flies- we were engaged when he turned 23. He is still the most kind, patient and loving man I have ever known. Also very humble - not realizing what he can accomplish until he has done it. For those of you who don't know, he is almost done with his 2nd masters degree. A Masters of Library Science. He works very hard. He works 40 hours a week to support us while working on that 2nd masters. Because of his hard work, I am able to work the job I love - less money than I was making before. He is also so kind towards animals - which means a lot to me since our dogs are our babies right now. It always touches my heart. Although we have both gained a few pounds since we married, he is just as handsome to me today as ever. And, to be really blunt - for a year and a half we tried so hard to have a child, knowing there would be challenges ahead - he always just cared about me and how I was doing, while I was in pain and struggled. And when it wasn't successful, and I needed to get back on stronger arthritis medicine, he was always there. I love you Sweetie! Below are some of my favorite pictures throughout the last year: